No matter how good of a match you are with your spouse or how much love you have between the two of you, there are going to be problems or tensions at some point or another. For some, these problems can quickly spiral into something that gets completely out of control and contributes to the ultimate dissolution of their marriage. But when you have kids involved, you may want to do everything in your power to work through problems before you call it quits. To help with this, here are three healthy ways to work through problems with your spouse.
Focus On What You Can Change, Not What You Can’t
When you’re having a tough time in your marriage, or in any relationship, it’s easy to look to the other person and point out what they’re doing wrong. However, regardless of how much you may want to change them, you really only have control over yourself and what you can change for you. According to Dr. Susan Heitler, a contributor to Psychology Today, it’s much healthier to ask yourself what you can change to make the situation better rather than telling your spouse how he or she should be changing. This takes quite a bit of humility and sacrifice, but can make a huge difference in your marriage.
Be Aware Of Your Non-Verbal Cues
Having sensitive conversations with your spouse can be very challenging when you feel like you’re on opposite sides of an issue. And while you might have been determined not to name call or be rude to one another, your non-verbal cues often say much more to your partner than you may even realize. According to Sheri Stritof, a contributor to VeryWellMind.com, you should always try to look your spouse in the eye when having difficult conversations. Additionally, try to keep your body language open, which will help your mind and heart to be open as well. Closing off or shutting down mentally often shows itself physically, so try to avoid this if you can.
Learn To Forgive and Let Go
Once you’ve worked through a problem, it’s vital that both sides learn to forgive and let go. According to Kimberly Dawn Neumann, a contributor to Woman’s Day, refusing to forgive and let go of previous arguments can sabotage your marriage and any future disagreements you may have. So rather than holding onto what happened in the past, try your best to learn from those experiences but not bring them up again when you face similar challenges in the future.
If you need some help working through a particularly tough time with your spouse, consider using the tips mentioned above to help you do just that and save your marriage starting today.