If you and your spouse are about to file for divorce, you likely have a lot on your plate to handle. From finding a divorce attorney to planning out your life after your marriage is over, there are quite a few things that need your attention. However, some of the people that need the majority of your attention right now are your kids. Your divorce will severely impact their lives too. So to help ensure that you’re all able to get through this tough situation together, here are three tips for going through a divorce when you have kids.
Be Careful With The Information You Share
One of the hardest parts about going through the divorce process is breaking the news to your kids. When you sit down together to have this tough conversation, it’s important that you be careful with the information that you share with your children. KidsHealth.org shares that while you want to be honest and open about things, you don’t want to give your children any details that they’d be better off not knowing. You also want to avoid placing blame on any one parent so as to not taint the relationship that the children have with that parent.
Reaffirm Your Feelings Toward Your Kids
During this tumultuous time, your kids might start to wonder if your feelings toward them have changed. Since your love for your spouse faltered, it’s only natural for them to question if this could happen with your love for them. To reassure your children emotional, HelpGuide.org advises that you frequently and genuinely reaffirm your feelings toward you kids whenever you can. Tell them that neither parent will ever stop loving them and the choice you’ve made to end your marriage has no bearing on how you feel about them. Expressing your love for your kids will help them realize that although things might be scary in this moment, they still will have both their parents at the end of the ordeal.
Try To Get Your Kids Talking
With both young kids and older teens, it can be hard to know what they’re really thinking or feeling about everything surrounding your divorce. But for your kids’ sake, it’s important that they feel comfortable sharing any feelings they might have. Because of this, Holly St. Lifer, a contributor to Parents.com, suggests that you encourage your kids to communicate, either with you or with a counselor or therapist. Talking out their feelings can help them move past anything that’s holding them back and can give them an outlet for dealing with things that don’t necessarily have any control over at this moment.
If you’ll soon be telling your kids that you’ll be getting divorced, consider using the tips mentioned above to help you navigate these unknown waters.