Although having a baby is a beautiful transformation in your relationship which can bring you closer as a couple, there are a lot of hurdles to make it through as a team. There is a reason that so many relationships end in divorce, particularly after having children. There is no bigger test for your marriage than bringing a new baby into the world together.
If you can make it through the challenges of a newborn and come out loving each other more than before, then chances are that you can make it through just about anything in your marriage. Here are some of the biggest tests that having a new baby can bring to the table and what you can do to handle it better.
Exhaustion Kicks In
Since babies don’t come out of the womb sleeping full eight hour nights like older children and adults, you’ll find yourself waking up in intervals for the first few months. When you’re in a deep sleep and are awoken suddenly by crying, it can be jolting on your sanity.
When you and your partner are first adjusting to the discomfort of being awake at all hours without ever feeling like you’ve gotten enough sleep it can start to wear on your patience. Many couples find themselves nagging at each other, or feeling competitive about who wakes up more with the baby. When both people in a relationship are physically exhausted, it increases your chances for arguments and a stressful atmosphere.
Try to remind yourself that this is only a phase, and your baby will be sleeping through the night soon enough. Try to be fair about taking shifts for who wakes up with the baby. With a balance between the two of you, you can avoid one of you resenting the other for doing more work.
When you have a baby, you can’t do as much as you once could. Since the baby is often sleeping and eating most of the day you need to be in a space which facilitates being able to do that.
It can be challenging to go to restaurants or get-togethers when you’ve got a baby to look after the entire time. Try to get a babysitter once in a while so that you can fulfill your social needs. Take it in small steps, beginning with only an hour or two at first and work your way up until you feel your baby is ready.
When your body goes through the changes of having a baby, you may not feel as sexy as you once did which can affect your intimacy.
You also may be so tired that any free moment you’re not taking care of the baby, you want to rest instead of taking time for each other. Be patient with the process and eventually things will return to the way they once were.